Jeff Macfee

Past tense Jeff,

Please do not lift refrigerators and old tires with your back. Lift with your legs. Or lift with your friends. Better yet, let the friends lift while you drink their beer. Otherwise, in about ten years, your back will be jacked. You will walk like an eighty year old man. An eighty year old man who has been hit with a crowbar. People will point. And laugh.

Thank you,
Future Jeff
(it really freaking hurts, dude. Seriously. Try sneezing with a bad back. You’ll fall over.)